Words upon Our Hearts – March 20

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 119:145-176; PM Psalm 128, 129, 130
Exod. 7:8-24; 2 Cor. 2:14-3:6; Mark 10:1-16

When I was a third or fourth grader, I had to memorize a poem for an English project. We had a Golden Book version of Robert Louis Stevenson’s poetry that Mom would read to my sisters and me from time to time. This project had parameters that exceeded the resources we readily had at home. So, my mom went to Bog Sted, the local bookstore in Cloverdale, and bought a book titled “Piping Down the Valleys Wild”. This compilation was for adults and children alike, as a primer to expose readers to the who’s who of poetry.

There was surely gnashing of teeth in the deliberation process to select a poem. I dragged my feet. My mom reminded me of the deadline, as the assignment was more than a show-and-tell exercise. Memorization and recitation were the other pieces of this. In the end, I chose “Sea Fever” by British poet laureate John Masefield. Even now, 40 years later, the words of that poem are exhilarating to me:

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;
And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea’s face, and the grey dawn breaking…

I learned then, and it is true for me now, that memorization is not easy for me. I can hold the spirit of something within me. Repeating verbatim is excruciating…for I doubt myself and fear I will get something wrong. And yet, I can hear the words of “Sea Fever” in my head. I recall my mom’s voice reciting them and coaching me along. Those words are some of the many phrases written clearly on my heart and gently etched in my memory. Do you have creative works indelibly marked upon your essence?

I was taken back to this long memory as I read the epistle appointed for this morning, an excerpt of Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians. He pens this note to the church in Corinth to ensure they are following the guidance of those who truly follow the mission and ministry of Jesus. As he positions himself as a source of authenticity, he rhetorically asks if he needs letters of recommendation to lend him credence. And then he says this: “You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all; and you show that you are a letter of Christ, prepared by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.” (3:2-3)

When I read these words this morning, I think about the words of the prophet Jeremiah we heard in worship on Sunday from our Old Testament lesson:

But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. No longer shall they teach one another, or say to each other, “Know the Lord,” for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the Lord; for I will forgive their iniquity, and remember their sin no more. (Jeremiah 31:33-34)

I love the line: “I will write it on their hearts, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.” Friends, we keep reading and studying Holy Scripture so that God’s word will be written upon our hearts. We will live out the words of God’s love. We will do more than say the prescriptions. We will act and speak and become people of sincerity, “sent from God and standing in his presence” (2 Cor 2:17). It is a big job, I know. And that is why we study and pray and wrestle with our faith. It does not come easily. As the apostle Paul reminds us, we are not competent in ourselves to accomplish this. “Our competence is from God who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of letter but of spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” (5b-6)

My prayers are with you this Lent,

Katherine+

Reflection and Challenge

What are the words that sit as indelible marks upon your soul? What other words do you wish to be added? As you read the Bible, make note of the words that you want to keep on the tip of your tongue. Write them down on slips of paper. Keep them in your pocket. Put them under your pillow. Let those words shape your prayers with God this week.

Holy Disability - March 18

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 31; PM Psalm 35; Exod. 4:10-20(21-26)27-31; 1 Cor. 14:1-19; Mark 9:30-41

But Moses said to the LORD, "O my Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor even now that you have spoken to your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue."

The opening line of our Old Testament reading this morning points to Moses’s own understanding of his leadership capacity. Moses has reservations about his ability to lead God’s people. He has been called by God to lead his people and yet has concerns about his limitations. Other translations say he had “impeded speech.” Many see this as Moses naming his own disability.

In an article I read from the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York, professor Sarah Wolf arrives at the conclusion that “being created in God’s image then does not mean that humans are endowed with some kind of divine perfection, but rather that humans are granted both abilities and disabilities, and that this mirrors something essential about the divine as well.” Wolf further argues that this is a “powerful way to conceptualize a God who gave the Torah through a revelation that was incomplete and in need of human interpretation.” To be Godly is to have power and limitations. For Wolf, “a prophet with a speech impediment is not a person with a flaw to be overcome, but rather the truest representation of the divine voice.”

If I am honest with you all, I mostly try to mask my flaws or limitations of which there are many.  In human systems, when we are competing with others, we look to expose the perceived weaknesses of others. This passage could be seen as a passage on leadership, that part of what Moses is required to do is embrace his limitations by inviting his brother Aaron to help him in shepherding God’s people. And God’s lifting Moses up as the one to lead God’s people through slavery into freedom is such a powerful reminder that God does not require us to be perfect, but instead requires us to be faithful. 

We all have limitations and great gifts, disabilities and abilities, and these are all a part of who God has created us to be. May we embrace the gift of our sacred humanity and embrace it in others too. 

John+

Questions for Self-Reflection:  What limitations do you try to mask?  What imperfections do you struggle to see as part of who God has created?

Humble Access - March 11

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 89:1-18; PM Psalm 89:19-52; Gen. 49:1-28; 1 Cor. 10:14-11:1; Mark 7:24-37

 I’ve always struggled with this Gospel text.  I can remember the first time I read this text as a Deacon, proclaiming it from the center of my congregation on a Sunday shortly after being ordained.  The Syrophoenician woman seems to be compared to a dog who eats up the crumbs under the table, and she seems to embrace this role.  It was hard to read.  I don’t remember the sermon I preached but I do remember my discomfort with the text. 

Last week, I went to visit some old friends to share in Holy Communion in their home as hospice care was being called in.  It felt right to do Holy Eucharist, Rite I, a prayer with the origins from the 1928 Prayer Book. These are the prayers with the old language which has not been a practice at Saint Stephen’s.  It has been several years since I have used this language in worship.

After the Eucharistic Prayer and before the distribution of communion, there is a prayer that can be recited called the Prayer of Humble Access. We read it together, with one friend reciting it from memory.

We do not presume to come to this thy Table, O merciful Lord, trusting in our own righteousness, but in thy manifold and great mercies. We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under thy Table. But thou art the same Lord whose property is always to have mercy. Grant us therefore, gracious Lord, so to eat the flesh of thy dear Son Jesus Christ, and to drink his blood, that we may evermore dwell in him, and he in us. Amen. (page 337)

It's a beautiful prayer, and I’m grateful for the prayer to remind me of the mercy of God and the humility we are called to have, and it helps me to read our Gospel text today.  This prayer is how I make sense of our Gospel text.  Sometimes prayer can help us sit with what isn’t comfortable, and I’m grateful for the Prayer of Humble Access.  What prayer do you need to sit with the readings that you find challenging? Is there scripture you struggle with?

John+

Questions for Self-Reflection:  What scriptures have you struggled with over time?  How have you become more comfortable with those scriptures? 

Do not quarrel along the way – March 6, 2024

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 119:97-120; PM Psalm 81, 82
Gen. 45:16-28; 1 Cor. 8:1-13; Mark 6:13-29

Joseph, the eleventh son of Jacob, had a complex family dynamic. If you remember the way the story is told in Genesis 35, Jacob had children by several different women including Leah and Rachel, and their handmaidens Zilpah and Bilhah. There were twelve sons in all, and one named daughter, Dinah. That must have been a lot to manage.

As I write, I hear my two children bickering about access to their shared bathroom and that someone needs to mind their own business and apologize. I am pretty sure someone shoved someone else. The quarreling can get out of hand, and some mornings it is a lot to manage.

Today in Genesis 45, we read a slice of interaction among Joseph and his brothers, as he equipped them to travel from Egypt to gather their father Jacob in Canaan. He gave them provisions for the journey – “good things of Egypt” and grain, bread, garments, and more. As the reunited brothers set out on their trek, Joseph said to them, “Do not quarrel along the way.”

We do not get to read the details of conversations along the sojourn. We do not know if there was bickering or nattering. Or if someone spoke cross words in resentment for something done or left undone. Here’s what is for sure: tensions naturally happen within all relationships. When we are agitated, we are not at our best. This reminds me of the collect we pray this week for the third Sunday in Lent (found on page 218 in the Book of Common Prayer) which starts, “Almighty God, you know that we have no power in ourselves to help ourselves…”

Does this ring true with you? If so, lean on God and pray along with me for help in the ways we care for ourselves – inside and out:

Almighty God, you know that we have no power in ourselves to help ourselves: Keep us both outwardly in our bodies and inwardly in our souls, that we may be defended from all adversities which may happen to the body, and from all evil thoughts which may assault and hurt the soul; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

My prayers are with you this Lent,

Katherine+

Reflection and Challenge

When quarrels happen in your relationships, what is your role? What tensions are you avoiding today? Which ones are worth the conversation?

Before engaging in an interaction that could be trying, take a deep breath. Sit with God in prayer. Ask that the Holy Spirit gives you courage to speak truth in love and wisdom to listen well.

Listen to learn – February 28, 2024

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 72; PM Psalm 119:73-96
Gen. 42:18-28; 1 Cor. 5:9-6:8; Mark 4:1-20

Last night, my family and I caught up on the latest episode of “Young Sheldon”, a CBS sitcom that tracks the upbringing of a little boy of impressive intellect in an east Texas town. In this final season of the show, Sheldon is an early teen studying string theory abroad in Germany for the summer, while accompanied by his mom. The boy is accustomed to having all the right answers and schooling his professors, pointing out quandaries and pointing to his own genius. In this new pod of classmates, the baseline of understanding is far superior to what Sheldon expects. This young man’s eyes are opened to the truth: he still has a lot to learn. It is not an easy space for him. He is urged to learn in a new way: to stop speaking and simply listen. Listen to the professor. Listen to his classmates. Listen.

This morning, I sit with Jesus’ parable of the sower (Mark 4:1-20) and read about the seeds generously imparted upon the ground. They are tiny gifts of growth potential that cannot be received on terrain that is unsafe, rocky, packed down, cluttered, or bone-dry. The seeds bounce off, dry up, get consumed by winged creatures and bugs, or get choked out. None of these can take root to the point of bringing nourishment. The failed grounds do not receive the gift of the sown seeds. By contrast, the good soil embraces the seeds and becomes a space where grain grows tall and yields much harvest.

How does Jesus begin this teaching? With the word LISTEN! How does Jesus end this teaching? “Let anyone with ears to hear listen!” The word of God is offered to the curious and hungering crowd, yet it is hard for the message to be received. Or perceived. Or understood. Or acted upon. Often it takes outside assessment from a skilled teacher to raise our awareness to name or accept a truth in ourselves.

There is much for us to learn in life and in this season of Lent. Continue studying holy scripture. Keep a sage guide nearby. Check in honestly. And listen.

My prayers are with you this Lent,

Katherine+

Reflection and Challenge

Pay attention to threshold moments this week. Make note. Journal about where God is in this space. Sit in silence. Pray prayers of mourning, gratitude, guidance, or healing. Ask someone about their threshold realizations and share this holy space.

"He went Home." - February 26

Today's Readings: AM Psalm 56, 57, [58]; PM Psalm 64, 65; Gen. 41:46-57; 1 Cor. 4:8-20(21); Mark 3:7-19a

“Then he went home.”

What an odd way to end a Bible passage. Jesus had just called all of his disciples, even giving one disciple, the name, “Sons of Thunder.” How is that for cool? “Then he went home.” It’s anticlimactic, at least for the time being. No jubilant cheers. No victory lap. No celebratory party or special prize. Jesus has just selected the disciples, arguably the most important assembly of teams in the history of humankind. “Then he went home.”  

Maybe I’m struck by the ordinariness of Jesus’ action or it how it gives us a window into the humanity of Jesus and his followers. They worked. And they had long days where they had to go home and hang it all up until the next day or the following week. Even Jesus couldn’t accomplish it all without rest or balance. 

Lent is a good reminder of our limitations. Fasting and self-denial are spiritual disciplines appropriate for Lent precisely to help us embrace our limitations because we need to. 

What is yours to let go of this Lent? What is yours to hang up and be finished with, even without the big congratulatory victory lap? What is yours to close the book to and be done? To return home?

Faithfully,

John+

A Temple For the Holy Spirit--February 23, 2024

Today’s Readings

Friday

AM Psalm 40, 54; Gen. 40:1-23; 1 Cor. 3:16-23; Mark 2:13-22

"...do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you..."

1 Corinthians 3:16

In the Rhythm of Life that some of us are completing this Lent, there is section that addresses the physical aspects of our lives. The booklet says, "Jesus chose to become incarnate in a human body, sanctifying all of creation.

How would we treat our own and others' bodies if we honored the sanctity of each and every one of us? We each have unique bodies and abilities--all beautifully and wonderfully made. The messages we were given about our bodies when we were growing up from our parents, the culture around us, even our faith communities, greatly impacts our sense of our bodies. Too much focus on our body can become a source of vanity or pride; too little or even lack of caring for our bodies a source of dishonoring the gift of life from God."

One of the intentions with the Rhythm of Life initiative is for us to choose at least one area in our life where we prayerfully commit to a certain practice or practices that will enhance our well-being and our connection to God. Below are some questions for you to ponder about physical well-being. If you desire a conversation about the Rhythm of Life or your Lenten practice, please reach out and I or someone to whom I can refer you, will be grateful to ponder with you. I pray you continue to have a most Holy Lent.



Grace and Peace,

Mary Bea+

Questions for Self-Reflection from Rhythm of Life Booklet

What messages were you give when growing up about your body? Sexuality?

How do you, or will you, regularly care for your body? Exercise? Nutrition? Rest?

Is there a believe about your body that is harmful to your well-being? If so, what support might be helpful to heal this pain in your life? How do you practice care of the body of creation--earth, our planetary home?

Realizing change has come – February 21

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 119:49-72; PM Psalm 49, [53]
Gen. 37:25-36; 1 Cor. 2:1-13; Mark 1:29-45

Yesterday I grabbed a bite to eat at the local Chick-Fil-A, since the lunch I prepared for myself was safely stowed in the refrigerator at home. As I sat in quiet for a few minutes before the bustling afternoon and evening ahead, I observed two moms with young kids near the enclosed playroom. One of the little girls was singing loudly for all in the restaurant to hear: “For the first time in forever…for the first time in forever…for the first time in forever…nothing’s in my hair!”

I recognized the tune and chuckled, though I could not see the face of the child belting out lyrics to the 2013 Disney film “Frozen”. (And for those wondering, the final line of that song is actually, “Nothing’s in my way!”)

Sam and I spent many hours seeking a tiny break while our kids (now 12 and 8) worked out energy on a cold day in these indoor jungle gyms. Sitting there, I felt that I was crossing a threshold. No longer do I intentionally seek out a space like this and wait for my kids in the tiny play place, watching their little hands pressing on the glass door at 28 inches above the floor. There is some sadness in this realization. And freedom. And gratitude. Perhaps many of you reading this have already passed this mile marker on the wayfarers’ route of parenting. You may have told others that these moments will come…the breaths of recognition when time is fleeting and the tenderness of today is passing away, yet still tangled up with never-ending struggles. It is in these moments of clarity that we each can savor the breaks between the crashing waves.

In the Old Testament reading for today, we catch a snippet of the saga surrounding Joseph and the tension with his brothers, who plot to sell him into slavery as they seek in jealousy to remove him from their family (Genesis 37:25-36). The brothers bring a tattered robe dipped in goat’s blood to their father Jacob, who cries out that his beloved son Joseph must have perished in an animal attack. He mourned the loss of his son deeply. We know how this story ends – with Joseph rising in the ranks of Pharaoh’s inner circle. With his brothers humbly seeking aid in a famine. With God’s grace and reconciling love reconnecting Jacob with his son Joseph and the other sons. But in this moment, we find Jacob sitting at a threshold, realizing that the love and joy of the past is now changed. His realization is profoundly painful – and infinitely more extreme than a mundane a-ha at a local fast-food establishment in 2024.

Regardless of the magnitude of threshold, the stories of our Bible and the stories of our lives in faith reiterate for us that God is in each movement and breath. How grand and how precious it is to behold this reality. We are never far from God, and yet we are often far from comprehending God. Perhaps we each need reminders of this today, for there are times when God feels so far from us.

In Kate Bowler’s Lenten reflection for today, she offers this blessing…and I pass it along to you:

God of all that we hardly notice,

ruler of the ground under our feet

and the sky stretched over our heads.

Send your spirit to direct our steps and our thoughts

as we stumble around this day and night.

My prayers are with you this Lent,

Katherine+

Reflection and Challenge

Pay attention to threshold moments this week. Make note. Journal about where God is in this space. Sit in silence. Pray prayers of mourning, gratitude, guidance, or healing. Ask someone about their threshold realizations and share this holy space.

Order Matters - February 19

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 41, 52; PM Psalm 44; Gen. 37:1-11; 1 Cor. 1:1-19; Mark 1:1-13

Order matters, especially in what we read and pray.  For those of you who attended Saint Stephen’s worship on Ash Wednesday, you might have noticed that we changed the order of the Ash Wednesday service from what is prescribed in our Book of Common Prayer. Our recent practice has been to receive the imposition of ashes before hearing from sacred Scripture.  Instead of hearing the passage from Matthew telling us to not publicly pray or fast like the hypocrites, and then receiving ashes on our foreheads, we receive ashes and then hear the readings. The result is, that the readings serve as a reminder that it’s not about the ashes on our foreheads, but the transformation of our hearts. The order matters.  As a side note, there are lots of scholars who have suggested this change in future prayerbook revisions, including the Very Rev. Dr. Jim Turrell, dean of the School of Theology at Sewanee, who shared this vision with us in a parish hall forum in 2018.

The order in 1 Corinthians in today’s lesson also matters.  At the beginning of the letter, Paul shares this beautiful imagery of how we have been enriched by Christ, strengthened by Christ, and called into fellowship. Then, Paul talks about divisions.  The divisions happen even though we have been strengthened, enriched, and called into fellowship. 

I think we expect our faith to make everything perfect, to create communities where there are no divisions, and we can model consensus and mutuality, where there are no arguments.  Isn’t church more fun when no divisions exist? 

And yet Paul reminds us that the community gathered in Corinth has been strengthened by Christ, called into fellowship, and yet is still struggling to live perfectly in communion.  Order matters.  We can still be faithful followers of Jesus Christ who haven’t sorted everything out when we haven’t perfectly figured out how to live together.   Maybe that model is a reminder not just in church communities, but as the diverse body of Christ.  That gives me hope in such a time as this.

John

Questions for Self-Reflection:  Where do you find conflict in your daily life or work?  How does your faith help you navigate that conflict?

Peace Which Surpasses Understanding

Today’s Readings

Friday

AM Psalm 31;

Ezek. 18:1-4,25-32; Phil. 4:1-9; John 17:9-19

Today’s Reflection

In his letter to the Philippians, Paul implores the community to "Rejoice in the Lord always,...let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let you requests be known to God."

As we embark on our Lenten journey, one of the foundational practices is to pray on a regular basis. Paul's letter is an important reminder that bringing everything to God --our concerns our joys, contributes to our hearts being in a position where "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

In the Rhythm of Life that some of us are completing this Lent, the first section is about spirituality. The booklet says,



"God is with at all times and in all places. Setting aside intentional time for prayer, study, and worship enhances our awareness of God's presence. Returning again and again to receive and then offer God's love, with God's help, we grow in love. Being specific about how we incorporate these practices in our daily lives increases the likelihood that we will actually follow through."

My hope for you is that you will be encouraged to renew your prayer life this Lent and be attentive to God's peace to washing over you--and for your heart to be transformed into an answer to prayer.



Grace and Peace,

Mary Bea+

Question for Self-Reflection:

How and when will you set aside time to pray with God?

What does it mean to you to bring everything to God?

Sin that Easily Distracts – February 14

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 95 [for the invitatory] & 32, 143; PM Psalm 102, 130
Amos 5:6-15; Heb. 12:1-14; Luke 18:9-14

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of the liturgical season of Lent. It is also Valentine's Day. What if this collision of cultural and spiritual observances is actually an opportunity for more beauty in our lives?

In the epistle reading for today, we read from the Letter to the Hebrews. In the twelfth chapter of this sermon addressed to those leading Christians in the very early days of the church, the preacher appeals to the audience, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith..." (v. 1-2a)

What a gift of mercy and love we are invited into when we approach Ash Wednesday and the season of Lent as a time to "lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely". This phrase is also translated as "sin that easily distracts". That rings so true with me. The sins that trip me up and weigh me down also easily distract me from the love of God. Sin separates me from the hope of Christ's compassion. Sin interrupts my attempts to trust in the courage of the Holy Spirit.

Let us look to this Ash Wednesday as a space to embrace the freedom of God's love, in which we lay down our sins. We repent of the wrongdoings that cling so closely to us...nearly smothering us with pain, regret, and shame. Today is the day that we lean on Jesus our Savior, who wants to remove those burdens from us. Our hands are heavy and our knees are weak from the sins of our present and our past...and we are yearning to be healed and be held in the hands of our loving God.

As we begin our paths of reconciliation with God and one another, let's listen to the final words of Hebrews 12:14: "Pursue peace with everyone, and the holiness without which no one will see the Lord."

My prayers are with you as we enter this holy time.

 

-- Katherine+

Reflection and Challenge

Pay attention to the things that distract you from love today. Work to put aside those distractions and be present with love for God, yourself, and those dear to your existence today. Then, make note of what felt different – and good – and hard. Hone your goals for tomorrow, with a commitment to presence, rather than distraction.

The Challenge of Inclusion - February 12

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 25; PM Psalm 9, 15; Prov. 27:1-6,10-12; Phil. 2:1-13; John 18:15-18,25-27

In my years in youth ministry, there were a few, more than difficult young people who would come through the program.  Sometimes they would make everyone else feel uncomfortable, maybe even run people off from the group.  It was especially difficult, but our staff and volunteers worked hard to include those young people, who wore so visibly their pain and brokenness.

Now it’s obvious what the right answer for who we should include in your youth program. I hope most youth programs would do the right thing and be a welcoming and inclusive space for the kids on the margins of their communities who struggled to fit in, and sometimes because of their own behavior. And we knew there was a cost.  Some kids would be less involved, and sometimes it made everyone uncomfortable.  Sometimes, we wanted to be like Peter who denied Jesus.  Sometimes youth did.  Maybe if I am honest, on my bad days, I wasn’t as welcoming as I could have been, exhausted and challenged by the hard work of inclusion.  And sometimes, it worked and the kingdom of God was revealed.

Inclusion can be difficult, but it’s a whole lot easier when everyone commits to the ethic.  I don’t blame middle and high school students who were struggling with their own identity, finding it challenging to include others.  My guess is that there was a fear from some young people of full inclusion of the more difficult or odd kids, maybe because it might confirm all of their own doubts and insecurities about their own self-worth.  On their best days, they did a pretty good job, when we were able to support them or model inclusion. 

Peter’s failure to acknowledge being in a relationship with Jesus also stems from fear.  Will he be arrested too?  Will Peter lose friends if he publicly acknowledges knowing Jesus?  Will his own insecurities about the person he is be affirmed? 

Inclusion can be a community ethic.  We often know what the right thing to do is, and it helps when we remind each other and support each other. I wonder if Peter’s answer would have been different if the other disciples were there to support him.  I hope so and know that I’m grateful to be in a community filled with disciples to help you and me make better choices.

Faithfully,

John+

Questions for Self-Reflection:  What is a decision you regret because you didn’t have courage or confidence? Who are the people who help you to make better decisions?

Praying at Night – February 7, 2024

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 119:97-120; PM Psalm 81, 82
Gen. 27:1-29; Rom. 12:1-8; John 8:12-20

When I was a child, my mom would put me to bed and say prayers with me. We would say, “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.” There is evidently a different version of this prayer – updated from the 18th century version my mom taught me – that has a cheerier ending: “May angels watch me through the night, And wake me with the morning light.”

I did not ruminate much on the “dying before I wake” part. I put much more energy into naming all the people for whom I prayed at night. I would go on and on and on. Close kin, distant kin, pets, stuffed animals. If I knew you, I probably named you. One night after my mom nodded off during my great litany of intercessions, she said, “Okay, Katherine. Wrap it up, please.” If she were here now, she would laugh at that story and possibly deny that remark happening.

I tell you this story because there are times when we put energy into prayer, and there are times when we need the structure of an external source to remind us and help us to pray. These reflections come early in the morning, three times a week. John, Mary Bea, and I reflect on scripture, Christian piety, and the challenges of living a life of faith focused upon God. What do you do to guide your prayer life at night?

In our scriptures appointed today from the Gospel according to John, Jesus says, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.’ (8:12) This is one of the verses of holy scripture that opens Daily Evening Prayer, Rite II. While often I spend time reflecting on the Bible, today I offer some accessible sources of prayer at the end of the day. There are several options in the Book of Common Prayer. It could be as simple as praying the Song of Simeon (also called the Nunc Dimittis):

Lord, you now have set your servant free
    to go in peace as you have promised;
For these eyes of mine have seen the Savior,
    whom you have prepared for all the world to see:
A Light to enlighten the nations,
    and the glory of your people Israel.

Or maybe you would like to read through all of Evening Prayer (page 115 in the BCP) that pulls readings appointed each day in the Daily Office lectionary. You may be familiar with Compline (page 127 in the BCP), which is near and dear to those who have participated in summer sessions at Camp McDowell. There are also Daily Devotions for Families and Individuals that begin on page 136 in the BCP, with prayers for morning, noon, late day, and at the close of the day.

If sleep is elusive for you, there is also a prayer for sleep (page 461 in the BCP):

O heavenly Father, you give your children sleep for the refreshing of soul and body: Grant me this gift, I pray; keep me in that perfect peace which you have promised to those whose minds are fixed on you; and give me such a sense of your presence, that in the hours of silence I may enjoy the blessed assurance of your love; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Each of these structures is useful in its own way. As we prepare for the start of Lent next week, consider how adding to your life by tacking on a prayer at the end of the day could deepen your connection to God in the days ahead. It could be a great 40-day experiment!

-- Katherine+

Reflection and Challenge

Think about a routine you followed in childhood. Who helped establish that for you? What colors do you think of? What is warm? What is hard? What do you cherish? Hold that memory in thanks to God. Reflect on how that routine has formed you into today.

Secret at the Rail - February 5

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 80; PM Psalm 77, [79]; Gen. 25:19-34; Heb. 13:1-16; John 7:37-52; Mark 10:13-22*

Secrets of Sunday:  So, I have some insider news.  There is a lot of goodness that most of the church misses on Sunday.  The people who sit behind the rail, our acolytes and Eucharistic Ministers, see a whole different side of the congregation.  Not only is the altar party facing the congregation during worship, but we come face to face with people receiving the Eucharist.  We get to experience what happens at the rail.

It is a gift and a privilege to share in that way, and to be clear, anyone who has been Confirmed or Received in the Episcopal church can go through training to be a Eucharistic Minister.  I encourage you to consider if that would be meaningful.  At our church, especially at the 9:00 a.m. service, there are an unusually high number of small children. What warms my heart every single time is the enthusiasm and curiosity of our youngest friends when they receive communion.  Some reach with urgency.  Others are bold with a smile that conveys a deep love for wanting to know Jesus Christ.  I try to bend down and get on eye level so I can capture each moment as they teach me what it means to yearn for God. 

In today’s lesson from Mark, the people are bringing their children to Jesus.  The disciples are quite upset (they often miss the mark).  Jesus rebukes the disciples and offers some wisdom.  “Truly I tell you whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, will never enter it.”  Children understand something that we need to hold on it.  They trust, they adore, they play, and they engage with an honesty that can’t be reserved.

I truly learn something from our young people.  I learn to yearn, to see the joy and gift and hospitality in community and the gift of the Eucharist.  They teach me just how precious the Eucharist can truly be.  Pay attention this week, they are offering a gift that we all need to receive.

John+

* Edit: I accidentally wrote my reflection on Sunday’s Daily Office reading but still wanted to share.

Questions for Self-Reflection:  What do you learn from children?  How have children taught you in the past? 

Tension in the ranks – February 1, 2024

Today’s Readings: AM [Psalm 70], 71; PM Psalm 74
Gen. 23:1-20; Heb. 11:32-12:2; John 6:60-71

When many of Jesus’ disciples heard it, they said, ‘This teaching is difficult; who can accept it?’  John 6:60

Do you remember struggling to understand a topic during your education? Geometry. Recitation from the prologue of Geoffrey Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. Historical assessment of varied governmental structures in Europe. Diagramming a sentence. Take your pick!

We read this week in John 6 of Jesus’ teachings about the bread of life. He tells them that “the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” All who hear this hunger for more, for they say, “Give us this bread always.” Jesus reveals more details as he says, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

Some in the crowd begin to grumble. They hear him say he is the bread of life and he has come down from heaven from God the Father, yet they know his mom and dad…they saw him grow up. They are confused and complaining. While many are Jews, not all are following what Jesus is saying. He is teaching in the way that rabbis teach, yet his content has shifted. While often the narrative of God’s care for those in the Exodus was for their daily survival, Jesus offers this angle: “Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died.” He then counters, “This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats of this bread will live for ever; and the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh...unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.”

Buttons are pushed further in this crowd gathered in a Capernaum synagogue, for the literal understanding of Jesus’ words is repulsive to the Jews. They would not begin to consume the blood of an animal and its flesh. That breaks the Jewish dietary codes. (Perhaps the intended audience of this gospel was not Jewish people, but other cultures who found this practice more normative.)

Resistance mounts among the Jews. Even the disciples name how difficult this teaching is. There is much complaining. Jesus says, “Does this offend you?” I imagine that grabs their attention, for it is in the nicks caused by pointed exchange that sting and bring us to greater awareness and reflection. He continues, “It is the spirit that gives life; the flesh is useless. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life.” Jesus points to the power of the Divine over the trappings of human existence. He grounds his disciples in their foundation: God. He also acknowledges, “But among you there are some who do not believe…For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted by the Father.”

The Good News of salvation is not easy news. We do not always believe. It is hard to comprehend. Some of us turn away. Some of us sit down and scratch our heads. God is with us in the walking away and in the wrestling. Just as Jesus kept teaching, the spirit of the Divine continues weaving us together in ways that we can experience God’s love and grace. It is not a direct path. And we will disagree and sometimes feel lost. None of our actions can separate us from the saving love of God.

-- Katherine+

Reflection and Challenge

Listen for where belief in God is hard today. Sit in prayer. Read the psalms appointed for today. Pray for the grace of God’s love to shine brightly in our world today.

Out of our Control - January 30

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 61, 62; PM Psalm 68:1-20(21-23)24-36; Gen. 21:1-21; Heb. 11:13-22; John 6:41-51

I usually work well with deadlines. The nature, at least of this Episcopal church, is strategy helps us live into our mission. We plan months in advance, and we operate with deadlines. On a side note, if you are ever interested in the behind-the-scenes understanding of Saint Stephen’s, we would be happy to give you a tour of the staff offices including our staff meeting room filled with large, oversized calendars, spreadsheets with liturgical and preaching rotations, and deadlines for guides. Stories have been outlined for both the spring and fall magazines. We follow a schedule because it helps us be the best stewards with our time and resources.

I’ve also been struck with the challenge of producing a daily reflection every Monday. Did you notice you received this email on a Tuesday? Have you noticed when you haven’t received a daily reflection?  Sometimes it’s a pastoral conversation on a Sunday afternoon, or Newcomers gathering, a hospital visit, a need for communion, or something else. 

As I read Genesis today, I find myself wondering how much the birth of Isaac changed the life of Sarah. We get the impression that Sarah and Abraham had longed for a child for years. Abraham was one hundred years old, and Sarah laughed when God spoke to her sharing God’s vision for her life. Did she have time for a newborn? What did she have to give up? What tasks could no longer be accomplished because of the change taking place in her life? Was she scared?

The reading from Genesis is a reminder that much of our life is outside of our control. Timelines might be helpful, and yet sometimes things happen. What unexpected gifts or challenges have you faced lately that have thrown you off your schedule? Could it be a gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit, a gift you didn’t expect? 

John+

The Possibility of Forgiveness – January 24, 2024

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 119:49-72; PM Psalm 49, [53]
Gen. 16:1-14; Heb. 9:15-28; John 5:19-29

Recently, I read a book by Simon Wiesenthal called The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness. First published in 1969, it is the author’s personal account of being a Jewish man imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp. During captivity, Simon is brought to the bedside of a mortally wounded German soldier to hear his deathbed confession for the atrocities he committed against Jews.

Like the accounts of many Jews who lived in Europe during the Holocaust, Simon’s station in life and personal agency are severely curtailed by his circumstances. An architect by training, he loses nearly everything in the Nazi occupation, including his parents. He is worked mercilessly, fed meagerly, and is subjected to random whims of violence. The treatment of the Jews by the Nazis and their mercenary assistants is systematically dehumanizing.

Simon is aware of the many differences that distinguish the captive Jews from the Nazis wielding their power. One of those is within the military cemetery. Upon each soldier’s grave, a sunflower is planted. He envies the dead soldiers, for each has a sunflower growing “to connect him with the living world, and butterflies to visit his grave.” The liveliness of the interplay between butterflies and flowers provides light and messages for the dead beneath them. For the Jews, there will be only mass graves.

In such times of tension and unrest – whether in World War II or in our lives today – compassion is likely to fall to the wayside. And yet, each of us yearns to be heard, understood, and met just where we are. Compassionate companions are priceless. Simon was able to be that for the dying man.

The question that haunted him was the one of confession … was he – a Jew – able to absolve this Nazi of the crimes he confessed? Was it his job to do that? Simon wrestled with these wonderings for years following his release from the concentration camps. This book is an outgrowth of his experience. He ends the story like this: “You, who have just read this sad and tragic episode in my life, can mentally change places with me and ask yourself the crucial question, ‘What would I have done?’”

Simon Wiesenthal’s musings demonstrate the messiness of forgiveness. Life is complicated. Our stories are chaotic. Even in the Genesis reading today, we have the complex relationship between Abram and Sarai, longing for a child. Sarai offers Hagar, her Egyptian slave-girl, as a surrogate to Abram; the child Ishmael is born from that relationship. Scorn and jealously grow. Hurt people hurt people. We each yearn for forgiveness and restoration. We each have spaces of pain and wrongdoing. We each have a story to tell, for we learn about ourselves and one another in doing so.

Nearly 20 years ago, the United Nations identified January 27 as International Holocaust Remembrance Day, honoring the day that Auschwitz-Birkenau was liberated and the memory of the millions of victims of Nazi persecution. There is a panel discussion on the possibilities and limitations of forgiveness this Sunday, January 28, at 3 p.m. in the large auditorium at the Homewood Public Library. Second-generation Holocaust survivors and local rabbis will speak to their own stories, and I will join the panel to explore forgiveness in light of the tragedy at Saint Stephen’s in 2022. You can find out more information about this and other events sponsored this month by the Alabama Holocaust Education Center here.

-- Katherine+

Reflection and Challenge

Listen for where God is giving you courage to be in hard conversations. Pay attention to current events in our nation and world. Then, go to God in prayer; lift up those spaces of discomfort in your heart and in our shared life. Pray for the grace of God’s love to bring restoration to our world.

Belief that changes our Lives - January 22

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 41, 52; PM Psalm 44; Gen. 14:(1-7)8-24; Heb. 8:1-13; John 4:43-54

The father realized that this was the hour when Jesus had said to him, ‘Your son will live.’ So he himself believed, along with his whole household. 

As beautiful and poetic as John’s Gospel can be, the message is relatively simple.  If you believe in Jesus Christ, the life-changing gift of eternal life is yours.  A few weeks ago, a new friend gave me a copy of a book by Anthony Ray Hinton, The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row. Hinton was wrongly convicted of capital murder here in Jefferson County in 1985. Through the work of Bryan Stevenson (who spoke at Saint Stephen’s around the time of Hinton’s release in 2015) and other lawyers and an unwavering commitment to justice, Hinton’s conviction was overturned by the United States Supreme Court.

The story is painful exposing just how racism and prejudice can corrupt and destroy the very systems we hold up for our safety and well-being, and yet the story is profoundly hopeful as Hinton’s faith, his ability to forgive, and his call to love others literally transforms the lives of those around him.  From wardens and prison guards to the child of a leader of the KKK, who is on death row for a racist hate crime, Hinton’s love and commitment to rise above his situation wins over those around him, changing their very lives and their outlook on humanity too. 

There is a moment of transformation in the book, when Hinton begins to call people by name, a sort of awakening to believe that how he was raised, to love other people, and to love God is more powerful and transformative than the situation he has found himself in.  By believing in the power of love, forgiveness, and hope, his actual life is changed.  While his living conditions are abhorrent, his belief changes his ability to live with hope in a 5’ x 7’ solitary room on Death Row. 

Hinton’s belief in love, forgiveness, and God transforms his life. It reminds me of one of the most powerful lines in holy scripture in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, “For the message about the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. (1:18).”  Belief in God’s grace and the power of love and forgiveness might not make sense in our complicated world to many, but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God.

In John’s Gospel, this entire story is told to show us the life-changing power of believing in Jesus.  In today’s reading, we hear “The father realized that this was the hour when Jesus had said to him, ‘Your son will live.’ So he himself believed, along with his whole household” (John 4:53).  Our belief in the power of love of Jesus Christ and the grace of God has the same transformative power in our lives.  We just have to believe. 

My prayer is for John’s Gospel and the life of Anthony Ray Hinton to stir up in us a deeper faith so that we too may see the transformative work of God in our lives. 

John+

Questions for Self-Reflection:  How has your own faith changed your life?  Where do you see this?  What could help strengthen your belief?   

Reaching Out Our Hands

Today’s Readings for the Feast of St. Aelred of Riveaulx:

AM: Psalm 36:5-10 , Philippians 2:1-4 , John 15:9–17

Today’s Reflection

Last Sunday, as the clergy and altar party were scrambling to change out of vestments in preparation for the 10:15 formation offerings, one of the Lay Eucharistic Ministers (LEMs) said, "Did you see what happened during the baptism?" I halted for a moment and looked at her quizzically. Serving as Katherine's assistant, I had been standing to the right of her as she baptized four-year old Leela Leverton. Was the LEM speaking of the sweet way her barely-older brother protectively positioned himself as Leela, adorned in a simple, beautiful dress, white shoes and bobby socks tentatively stepped on the stool in front of the font? Or, to the joy on the faces of the congregation as they leaned sideways and forward to get a better vantage point of the baptism? Was she referring to the beam of light that mystically appeared right after Katherine dipped her thumb in the anointing oil and proclaimed, "You are sealed by the Holy Spirit in baptism and marked as Christ's own forever?"

Eyes welling, the LEM said, "Her older brother was holding her hand almost the entire time. And, when their hands unclasped for just a moment, Leela reached behind and her brother immediately grabbed it."

Moments later, in the "Wholeness as a Path to Holiness" Adult Forum, our presenter Scott Stoner pointed out that secular research supports that people who are resilient have two things, "a strong spirituality and a strong community." In the conclusion of his presentation Scott astutely connected the baptism experience of Leela and her six-year old brother Dexter saying, "it's as simple as that folks, that's what a wellness ministry is, to hold each other's hands as we go through this journey we call life. So that we can be whole and we can be the people God created us to be. To hold each other's hands in community and to reach out our hands to hold the hands of those who are afraid those who are alone in our community as they go through (transitions/challenges) of life."

Today we celebrate the feast of St. Aelred of Rievaulx who is known for his commitment to, and theological writing about spiritual friendship. A description of St. Aelred says, "During his abbacy he built Rievaulx into a place of spiritual welcome and physical prosperity, desiring to make it a 'mother of mercy' to those in need."

In today's Gospel, Jesus says, "As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." Rooted in the Gospel, one of our baptismal promises is to "Seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving our neighbor as ourselves." St. Stephen's is already a place of spiritual welcome. And, we are wondering what new ways we are being invited in this time and in this place to hold one another's hand and love one another has Christ has loved us.

Led by Katherine Owens and myself, An Advisory Committee is forming with the intention of creating a center for spirituality and wholeness. All are invited to participate in a Listening Session on January 21st at 10:15 am to wonder together how we can join the Holy Spirit in co-creating the good works God has already begun.

Yours in Christ,

Mary Bea+

Questions for Self-Reflection:

When was a time you needed support and someone reached out to be Christ for you? What ways has being a part of the St. Stephen's community enhanced your physical, spiritual, emotional, vocational wellbeing? What kind of community are you yearning for?

Seeing and knowing – January 10, 2024

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 119:1-24; PM Psalm 12, 13, 14
Gen. 4:1-16; Heb. 2:11-18; John 1:29-42

On Christmas morning, one of the presents from my husband Sam was a book called How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen. Sam knew that the book’s premise would resonate with me. He was right.

While David Brooks is more widely known for his political and social commentaries in The New York Times, The Atlantic, and PBS News Hour, this work is deeply personal and insightful in lovely ways…at least in the 53 pages I have read so far. He writes about his quest for enhancing social skills in an age when culture is growing more automated in interactions. He posits that at the heart of the ways we treat one another is “the ability to understand what another person is going through”. To be healthy in relationship, we “see someone else deeply and make them feel seen – to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.” Brooks goes through behaviors and mindsets that keep us from seeing others and then lays out ways we can do this. Being seen and known is essential to life, much like oxygen, water, and nutrients that sustain our somatic natures.

Being seen and known is not easy. It takes deep honesty. And perhaps, like in dove hunting, it is helpful to have a trained companion who can flush out what it is you are trying to find. Spiritual practices and Holy Scripture can be avenues to explore when digging for nuggets of honesty, redemption, and hope in God’s love. (After all, this is to be a reflection on scripture, rather than a book review.)

In the gospel appointed from John in today’s daily office reading, we hear a great story of Jesus. John the Baptist was spending time with his disciples and Jesus walked by. John said, “Look, here is the Lamb of God!” John deeply saw and named the truth of Jesus' identity. The disciples left John and starting following Jesus. It’s not clear how long they trailed him before Jesus turned around and acknowledged them. He said, “What are you looking for?” The two – perhaps star-struck – individuals blurted out, “Rabbi, where are you staying?” Jesus invited them to come and see; they spent the day together. Andrew was one of the disciples, and he went to get his brother Simon to meet the Messiah. Upon meeting, Jesus looked at him and said, “You are Simon son of John. You are to be called Cephas.” (a.k.a. Peter)

Jesus saw John deeply. He saw Andrew deeply. He saw Simon Peter deeply. Jesus was training the disciples to see others deeply, too.

I pray this day that God gives each of us the courage we need to go on this perilous journey of faith and vulnerability, to see and be seen. This is where the Holy Spirit comes in, filling our lungs with the inspiration that we cannot put in there ourselves. So, be courageous to know yourself. Be bold as you pray into spaces of the unknown. Be loving as you see others. Be wise to lean upon the expertise and guidance of others. May the light of Christ shine in your eyes, and may you see that light in the countenance of each person you meet.

-- Katherine+

Reflection and Challenge

Listen for where God is strengthening you to see and live more deeply. Pay attention to those who are hard to engage. In prayer lift up those relationships of discomfort. Ask for guidance and understanding to see these as God sees them.