Family Systems - June 25
Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 105:1-22; PM Psalm 105:23-45; Num. 17:1-11; Rom. 5:1-11; Matt. 20:17-28
Today’s Gospel passage includes a detail that Matthew preserves which gives the story a very human feel. It is not James and John who approach Jesus asking for places of honor in his kingdom, like it is in Mark. It is their mother. She kneels before Jesus and asks that her sons be seated at his right hand and his left. The request does not go over well. Matthew tells us that when the other ten disciples heard about it, they became angry with the brothers.
I once heard a therapist describe a dysfunctional family as a redundant statement. Every family has its tensions, rivalries, misunderstandings, and old wounds. In this case a mother advocating for her children in a way that causes the children to be resented by their new community. It is both loving and natural, and it exposes how the experiences of our family can cause pain and resentment in our larger communities. The same is true of churches, workplaces, and communities. Wherever people gather, there will be moments when someone feels overlooked, someone wants recognition, and someone else resents it. The disciples are no exception! (I think this is really good news by the way).
What strikes me is that Jesus does not spend much time sorting out who is most at fault. Instead, he redirects the entire conversation. The disciples are arguing about greatness, but Jesus wants them to understand that greatness in the kingdom of God looks very different than greatness in the world. "Whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant." While the world encourages us to seek the best seat at the table, Jesus invites us to consider how we might serve those around us. In the end, the measure of a faithful life is not the recognition we receive, but the love we give.
I haven’t sorted out yet what all this means for our families other than God’s got work for us to do and an acknowledgement that life is messy. Maybe it helps to know this so we can let go of their very human responses to life and family and trust in God’s favor to each of us.
Faithfully,
John+
Question for Self-Reflection: Where is God inviting you to let go of competition or resentment in your own life?