My grandmother's faith - December 12
Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 30, 32; PM Psalm 42, 43; Isa. 8:1-15; 2 Thess. 3:6-18; Luke 22:31-38
Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul?
and why are you so disquieted within me?
Put your trust in God;
for I will yet give thanks to him,
who is the help of my countenance, and my God.
- Psalm 42:6-7
Last night, I listened to some audio files that our friend Derry digitized for me from a stack of cassette tapes in our home office desk. Some were crackly and muffled. I heard voices that I did not recognize, and others that struck a chord of deep familiarity – like that of my grandfather, who died 30 years ago. I spent an hour eavesdropping on recorded conversations of family stories.
One conversation I listened to was between my maternal grandmother, Martha Jane McWhorter, and a man named A. J. Coleman. I never met Martha Jane, but I grew up hearing stories of her charisma and love for life. A. J. was an attorney, and my grandmother was in the hospital, undergoing treatments for cancer. They both were active at First Presbyterian Church in Decatur, Alabama. The conversation was recorded on November 16, 1972; she died less than 6 months later.
What sticks out from this conversation is her deep gratitude for and resolute faith in God. Martha Jane had a strong faith foundation, as her father (and his father before him) was a Presbyterian minister. In the recorded conversation, she recalls a time in her life when she was lonely and in a posture of “poor me” (her words). She remembers sitting on the living room floor, weighed down by her feelings of sadness: “I remember feeling so alone, so completely alone…and there was no one else but poor me. And at that time, I realized that I had a friend, and that [God] was my friend and he was going to take care of me, as long as I held his hand.” Martha Jane says that she went from being an “only, lonely individual” who needed more strength than she could muster, to someone who could stand upright again and take the next step.
Our brushes with the Divine – as I hear in Martha Jane’s story – are often unexpected and can surprise and refresh us when we are in life’s low points. The words of Psalms 42 and 43 speak to those feelings of longing and heaviness that intersect with putting one’s whole trust in God. It is a process of emptying out the burdens on our shoulders, setting aside our self-sufficiency, so that we might rely more fully on God. And yet, our hands get full of other worries and fears, so we forget to grab onto God’s hand. We forget to recognize that God is our ever-present companion and friend.
Perhaps you have been in a similar posture, lonely and isolated. Maybe you are feeling that way right now, an “only, lonely individual”. Know that you are beloved by God. Just as Jesus prayed for Peter’s faith to not fail in a time of uncertainty and fear, he also commanded Peter to pray for and strengthen his friends. That prayer of reinforcement and encouragement is passed down to you and me. If you find yourself on the living room floor today, take a moment to pray and make sure you are grabbing tightly to God’s hand, which is strong enough to lift you through all things.
-- Katherine+
Questions for Reflection
When have you felt so low that you were on the floor? What or who helped you get up?
Daily Challenge
What would it be like to grab onto God's hand for strength today? Take a moment to reflect for yourself. Call a friend or family member who is lonely. Offer encouragement and prayer for them in this time of isolation.